So the phrase that keeps running through my head is “What in heavens name are you thinking!?”
I'm always telling myself things will get better and that you have to give it time and the only way to really change anything is to go to school, but who am I kidding??
Do I really think I can can pull off full time job, school and home life? Am I not stressed enough as it is? Oh no! I have to be wonder woman and do it all!
I want to do it I do and maybe I should have done it a few years ago when all I did was work part time and take care of my daughter then I would not be in this mess. I am terrified to go back to school. I feel like I am going to fail and have such a hard time and I have not even started yet. And I was hoping against hope that I would be getting help from my husband, not just the bull about oh your so smart and you can do it I have faith in you stuff that I know but really don't need to hear coming out of his mouth at like 11:00 at night when I have to get up and go to work in the morning.
And everyone keeps saying oh you are so smart and you have a level head on your shoulders and blah blah blah. I don't feel like that girl not one little bit. All I can see are the faults I was sure everyone else could see. Some times I just don't understand why it feels like I have to do it all and give 110% of all I have to give and everyone else gives 50% or less?